Whatever It Is | moonshadoe's Blog

(5:49AM) She made it home sometime after I called it a night, and I'm not sure when that was. I only know that I heard the bedroom door open, but not a word was said. And because I heard the bedroom door open I knew that I wasn't snoring, and since I wasn't snoring I was thinking she probably had an idea that I wasn't asleep. And that would have afforded her the opportunity to share her two cents on what she undoubtedly saw on the kitchen counter after she walked through the front door. But no words were said, and I guess I was relieved. She probably also saw the receipt for the stuff I bought for the woodland critters, and in the back of her mind, or the forefront, she was probably thinking that I didn't need to do that, but again, I didn't do it because I needed to. I did it because I wanted to. The way I see it is this. If I don't spend a little bit now and then, she'll do it for me, and all work and no pay makes me a dull boy. Working ten hour days is supposed to have its advantages somewhere, and I'm looking to see if I can find them.

I know she doesn't like it when I bring home a new bottle, and even though I don't really drink that much she still likes to ping me on it. If I were going overboard with it I could understand. If I were getting wasted every night, and I was obnoxious and abusive, I could understand it. If I were unable to get up in the morning to make it into work because of getting hammered the previous night, I could understand that too. But to all of the above, such is not the case. The way I see it, I'm a big boy now, not as big as some, but still a big boy, and I'm not getting any younger. So, in my way of thinking, just give a guy a break, because she isn't going to give me anything else. Thinking about the way it is sometimes, I'm reminded of how my dad used to be when I was a kid, and he probably didn't change much after I wasn't. He liked to control, and if he couldn't he liked to criticize what a person did. My other half is a little like that too, and how strange it is to leave home when you're a kid to gain some freedom only to get married and give it all up, and the world is a twisted place. I need some wake up juice now before this drivel gets out of hand, and I'm gone.